The Ruhlman Rundown

Let’s talk about the days following chemotherapy infusions. Day 1: Chemo Day Day 2: shaky, weak and felt pumped full of drugs but still have to go to the center to receive a shot Day 3: IV anti nausea meds have worn off and I was awoken at 2:30 am to a child with a bloody nose. Fix sweet angel and get him back to bed. Had to make the tough decision to wait on the good meds so they will not wear off while I was in route to an appointment. I would rather be sick at home than in the car or at the surgeons office. I decided to wait it out with goldfish crackers and water. I made it until 7AM and rescued myself with breakfast and Zofran. The rest of the day was a full time job of small meals, rest and meds at the precise right times to continue playing the game of keep the terrible nausea monster at bay. Day 4: This time it was a 3AM wake up call from a different sweet angel with a nightmare. We snuggled in tight on my side of the bed and drifted back to sleep. At 6AM my stomach realize...

In the beginning of chemotherapy talks I had insisted that I wanted to go alone. That I wanted to be alone and experience this and be able to sit and process my feelings about all of this.  At the time of that statement I was still extremely overwhelmed and felt surrounded by too many people. Once the day got closer I realized that having someone there was going to be helpful. However, the Mom in me would never want to inconvenience someone for up to five hours. So I decided that turning this in to more of a “coffee date” or “lunch date” would make me feel less of a burden. For the record, I am now very aware that my friends and family do not see any of this as a burden. They see it as an opportunity to love and support me, just as I have supported them over the years. No matter how much they inform you, there is no way to know how your first infusion of chemotherapy will effect you personally. You can’t predict reactions, feelings or side effects. You can only anticipate the pos...

This new chapter has brought a truckload of changes for our family.  Three weeks ago I was keeping the schedule for all five Ruhlmans, working a part time job at church, coordinating a large MOPS group, cooking all the meals, running everyone to appointments, knowing where everyone left everything and all the normal things that come with being a stay at home mom to three busy kids.  Now, nurses call and tell me when and where to show up, I'm told what meds to take on what days, friends bring meals, friends at work are covering my events and the team of amazing women that I lead at MOPS are handling our group like rockstars.  On top of all of this, my amazing tribe of supporters have been so generous with cards, gifts and tokens of love and support. Here's the catch...I'm not sick yet.  Right now I just have a lump and a schedule full of appointments.  So convincing myself to accept all of this love and support has been a larger than normal adjustment for me. ...