The Ruhlman Rundown

In 2020 if you would have told me that I would be sharing a beach house with six women, a couple that were merely acquaintances and the others supported be during my darkest days, I would have had a panic attack while simultaneously melting into a puddle of fear. The mental healing that has happened for me since my diagnosis has been significant but far from complete. However, the healing that happened for me on a recent trip to Florida was of epic proportions. These women and this time away gave my mind and my heart a reset into a time where I could have fun. Not just your regular laugh at a joke or enjoy yourself fun and not Disney with the family fun. Those are all wonderful experiences and check their own boxes of healing and amazingness. This was a kind of fun that only women, especially Moms, can give to each other. This kind of fun is laughing so hard when the wheels fall off the wagon that you can’t stand up straight, only pausing to take a breath and exchange a glance of under...

This new chapter has brought a truckload of changes for our family.  Three weeks ago I was keeping the schedule for all five Ruhlmans, working a part time job at church, coordinating a large MOPS group, cooking all the meals, running everyone to appointments, knowing where everyone left everything and all the normal things that come with being a stay at home mom to three busy kids.  Now, nurses call and tell me when and where to show up, I'm told what meds to take on what days, friends bring meals, friends at work are covering my events and the team of amazing women that I lead at MOPS are handling our group like rockstars.  On top of all of this, my amazing tribe of supporters have been so generous with cards, gifts and tokens of love and support. Here's the catch...I'm not sick yet.  Right now I just have a lump and a schedule full of appointments.  So convincing myself to accept all of this love and support has been a larger than normal adjustment for me. ...

Check in time today was 7:15AM and since I had to have someone drive me that meant my Dad dropped my Mom and I off at the door at 6:50AM, because "on time is late".  That left John at home to run the morning chorus of chaos on his own.  My Dad returned to our house to chauffeur the next set of Ruhlmans to their destination and then go back to school to drop off glasses that were forgotten.  One last task for Pops of getting the #LittlestRuhlman picked up by his carpool to preschool, while John got busy working. Today was port-a-cath day. For those that haven't been through cancer school, it is a small device that got tucked right under the skin near my collar bone and has a catheter attached that feeds right in to a vein in my neck.  This will allow all of my meds, infusions, and blood draws to happen at this one pain free spot, instead of my exhausted veins.  Veins that no long bleed, veins that roll and hide at the mention of "lab work".  My regularly b...

We sat in the office with the doctor last week and she mentioned that we would get set up for our teaching appointment.  I really had no idea what that meant but I knew, we would finally have the chance to learn answers to questions that had been haunting my thoughts.  If I learned nothing else, I knew I wanted to learn exactly what kind of cancer had taken up residence in my body. Yesterday we left the house before the kids went to school and headed to our early morning appointment.  We met with an amazing Nurse Practitioner that jumped right in to the teaching.  She explained in detail a summary of my scans.  My cancer is considered breast cancer but is unique, it is actually in my axillary (underarm) lymph node where the mass has presented.  It also showed a small amount of activity and inflammation in the lymph nodes under my pectoral muscle and up to the ones near my clavicle. We also learned about each of the chemotherapy meds that I will receive ...

It all started with a lump. One pesky bump that appeared in my armpit.  The pesky bump became an annoyance that wasn't going away and I realized it was time to see my doctor.  She was concerned and diligent.  Since I'm approaching my 40th birthday, she sent me for a mammogram and tacked on an ultrasound so that we could get some more info on this lump. The radiologist reading my scans is a breast specialist and was intrigued by my new "guest". She scheduled a biopsy and performed it herself.  Then you wait...and wait...and wait.  The phone finally rings and my doctor is on the other end.  This is the moment my world changed forever. This is the moment that cancer became part of my story. However, it wasn't like in the movies.  There wasn't a specific diagnosis with timelines and a time for questions.  There were words like unknown, carcinoma, oncologist.  I met with an oncologist and I hear things like..."this is a unique case, you are s...