The Ruhlman Rundown

In 2020 if you would have told me that I would be sharing a beach house with six women, a couple that were merely acquaintances and the others supported be during my darkest days, I would have had a panic attack while simultaneously melting into a puddle of fear. The mental healing that has happened for me since my diagnosis has been significant but far from complete. However, the healing that happened for me on a recent trip to Florida was of epic proportions. These women and this time away gave my mind and my heart a reset into a time where I could have fun. Not just your regular laugh at a joke or enjoy yourself fun and not Disney with the family fun. Those are all wonderful experiences and check their own boxes of healing and amazingness. This was a kind of fun that only women, especially Moms, can give to each other. This kind of fun is laughing so hard when the wheels fall off the wagon that you can’t stand up straight, only pausing to take a breath and exchange a glance of under...

I sat in church last week and the congregation stood and started singing one of my favorite Matt Maher songs and a tear snuck down my cheek. I grabbed the hand of my son sitting next to me to help me keep it together. It’s incredible how a song can bring back a flood of memories.     From the moment I was diagnosed I had many tearful conversations with God. In the first few days I kept asking “Why? Why me? Why now? I have young kids and so many plans. Why? I need to know why.” I snuck in church the first Sunday after I met with my oncologist into a back-row seat. The entire row all to myself. I typically sat alongside my usual crew and we would exchange glances, smiles and worship together. This day was different, I had a secret and I hadn’t accepted the reality of it and I surely wasn’t ready to share it. Now that I had settled into my solo spot; Chip, our Pastor of Worship and Music, stood at the front of the room asking all of us to stand. Guitar in hand he started strummin...