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The wheels fell off...

In 2020 if you would have told me that I would be sharing a beach house with six women, a couple that were merely acquaintances and the others supported be during my darkest days, I would have had a panic attack while simultaneously melting into a puddle of fear. The mental healing that has happened for me since my diagnosis has been significant but far from complete. However, the healing that happened for me on a recent trip to Florida was of epic proportions. These women and this time away gave my mind and my heart a reset into a time where I could have fun. Not just your regular laugh at a joke or enjoy yourself fun and not Disney with the family fun. Those are all wonderful experiences and check their own boxes of healing and amazingness. This was a kind of fun that only women, especially Moms, can give to each other. This kind of fun is laughing so hard when the wheels fall off the wagon that you can’t stand up straight, only pausing to take a breath and exchange a glance of understanding. The kind of fun where you all take turns taking care of each other, in ways that only a girlfriend can. A week of bringing each other caffeine in the morning, building them a BLT for lunch, having cold margaritas ready when you get back from the grocery run, cramming way too many bodies and suitcases into one car, rapping "Shoop" with you on the dance floor, making a run to Target for the perfect raft, offering you Advil when you hurt yourself dancing the night before and so many more experiences that will stay in the vault. This kind of fun isn’t easy to make happen. It takes work, intention and an incredible amount of support from partners back home. We have all spent time over the last few years balancing kids and responsibilities in ways that we never could have imagined. We all arrived to the beach house with no judgement and a desire to relax and let loose. We were all desperately seeking the time away. I believe that none of us could have anticipated the laughter and camaraderie that was to come from this trip. We bonded in a way that no one anticipated. The deep belly laughs were fuel for my brokenness. Floating in the ocean with these gals literally and figuratively washed away some of the stress, anxiety and worries of the last few years. It provided me with a refreshed perspective separate from the survivor’s eyes that I had used most recently. Some of these women knew my story and the other women didn’t need to know my entire story, they enjoyed my company in these exact moments. We laughed, I cried and healed in big and small ways. I can say with absolute certainty that I am coming home a better mother and woman than before I got on that plane. There were still moments of anxiety, brokenness, doubt and trauma. There were significant moments of healing, happiness and savoring every moment with a new perspective that these moments can be taken away with a quickness that you can never anticipate. My advice once again is this…take the trip, make the memories, and savor the moments with those that are important to you. Please don’t ever miss an opportunity to belly laugh at the wheels falling off the wagon and enjoy your life. 


                                                   With love and tan lines,

                                                               Robin



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